I had a conversation this morning that left me wondering about some basic “life issues”. So in the way of most women I decided to talk it out or as in this case to write it out and clarify my opinion.
The topic was how much are you really influenced by others in your personal life and in your business?
I don’t mean are you the kinda guy that matches his tie with his shirt and suit because he doesn’t want to be a fashion disaster. I mean are you a person that allows others to sway you in your personal decisions or business decisions? Again I need to modify that statement. How much do other people control what you do and I don’t mean your spouse or your priest or your best friend I mean Joe Blow at the bar or the netpond?
Of course we take into account our loved one’s opinions and that of persons whom we respect. However, how much does the person you barely know influence what you do and say and even to the extreme how you might run your business?
For example when you wear a special dress or suit out somewhere and a casual acquaintance makes a less than complimentary comment on it. What is your reaction? A moment of self examination? Asking your partner how it looks? Or do you run home and change it knowing the whole world must be thinking you look stupid?
Sounds a bit extreme right? Well believe me there are people who live that way. My sister is often to be found home midday changing clothes because someone in the office she barely knew says her colors don’t suit her skin tone.
People also do that in business. We know the people even less in our business, just from boards and their comments. Who’s opinions matter to you?
Do you show off your shiny new project to everyone and then when someone you barely know comments on it negatively, what do you do? (someone will always put it down because it is in the nature of boards and people) Do you run home and change to something more mainstream and suitable?
I am just wondering who’s opinions really matter to us. Even those persons we might know and admire from a board or from church or from the office if they are commenting on your business it is always best to keep in mind that we are are the ones that will either burn or profit from it.
Opinions are cheap and everyone has several and most will offer them freely. However they are only valuable if you know that person and their skills well. Not only that but every person has an expertise (or lack thereof) so if you ask Joe the greenhouse guy to comment on your taste in decoration chances are his opinions will be very personal and pulled from his ass.
I have to wonder how many people are influenced by comments from folks they barely know and have no idea if they have real expertise in the area. Yes, I am actually wondering too how much they matter to me personally.
It applies to our home life and our business as well. It is easy to create a persona online it is harder to get those checks if you don’t have the expertise.
I actually started this post wondering which type of person I am. I still don’t know. I mean if someone says my dress looks ugly I usually ask my sister (she is brutally honest) or figure they are taste impaired.
If someone criticizes my business model I always consider the source. Is it someone I know is successful or just another name on the board? Are they talking in their area of expertise or pulling it from their ass? Do I really know this?
In any case at the end of the day it is me that will be wearing that bright orange vest with the lime green slacks or cashing or not cashing my checks.
Who’s opinion matters most to me? I guess ugly or unworkable or even unprofitable is all dependent on your point of view. I suppose in my case it is my own opinions I tend to value.
On a sadder note we have received news that Sleazy Bear is ill and in the hospital and though according to Snuggles he is doing well he will require a period of recovery. I know that everyone who reads netpond board is sending their best wishes for his health and recovery.
SB we are thinking about you, and our prayers, or well wishes or mantras they all go out to you. Please take care of yourself and rest.
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I hate change. Call it a sign of getting old (getting?) though you can’t blame it too much on that, the young are more inflexible than the old. I just hate change.
My sister decided this week that I spent too much time in my office and that I needed a “happier” and healthier environment to work in. What has that to do with change? I am getting there.
In any case I stumble out from my bedroom at 12:00 after an all nighter on the computer. It was a bright saturday morning/noon my head hurt and I really wanted to go back to bed but had blog posts and such to make. I was going to put the coffee on (coffeepot stays in my office) so I went straight to the spare bedroom where my office and computer are and opened the door to yellow. Yes yellow a screaming bright sunny yellow on the new sofa the new pale yellow walls the sunny little clock with bright yellow petals around the happy face clock. OMG! She had put a yellow doily on my work chair!
My nice thick curtains were gone no more dark and peace for me. Instead there were these godawful white and yellow filmy things that were not only offensive in color but allowed way too much sun in! My coffee pot was still there in the work area but the mugs were….you guessed it, yellow!
I may never find the work I had piled up in stacks but now sitting in the bright yellow in and out baskets (wherever did she find yellow in baskets?) I had everything arranged in a nice chaotic pile where I could find any single sheet at a moment’s notice!
Oh yeah and as an accent she had added an orangish throw rug in the middle of my nice bare clean floor and a orange godforsaken mishmash of color painting looking like it had done by a preschooler in a tantrum of paint throwing.
My room, my haven, my office and my chaotic order were gone. All my quiet dark peace the place where only light was the soft glow of a small table lamp f(my old one was gone and replaced by a ceramic obscenity in yellow) and the only sound the clatter of the keys as I typed, all of this was gone.
I found a note taped to the screen of my computer where I would be sure to see it (as if I could possibly miss all that freaking yellow?).
It read:
“Sis,
Don’t you just love the new colors? I know you will be happier in this nice clean light place than in that dank dungeon you made it.
Happy Birthday!
Jan”
Little does my sister know I love a good dungeon. Oh well, now the light screams in at me from the filmy fluffy curtains though I must admit I am enjoying the scent of the “yellow” candle burning. Did you know there are birds outside? Uh huh, just in case you guys forgot I am here to tell you there are.
Maybe in a year or two I will get used to all this yellow…not. However I will live with it and make nice noises since Sis went to a lot of trouble and expense to arrange this “happy and healthy” environment. I will in time get used to it and perhaps even grow to like it in say a million years.
I do hate change.
This week at the netpond there have been changes as well. Perhaps not as profound as the yellow that screams at me from my walls but still changes and they do affect people like me who are very set in their ways. Hell, they affect everyone.
Haui left us to pursue his own interests in mainstream. He made a right and necessary choice for his personal growth. I still miss him.
Luckily we do have some order. Sleazy has stepped up and Meat has returned. Now to me those choices are way preferable to yellow since they are people we know and like.
Sleazy and Meat thanks for stepping up to the plate to maintain a semblance of normality. I know you miss Haui as well, and probably hate changes as much as I do.
However from a personal standpoint, please let me say this: I like you guys much better than yellow.
Peace - Chimera
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