Restaurants will never go out of business. Sure, some places have way too many and individual ones might suffer from stiff local competition as a result, but the business of satiating this basic human need to eat ensures that they will always be around to meet it.
Some women would argue, probably quite rightly, that men are driven by two basic emotions – hunger and sex. Having briefly covered the former, let us examine the latter in more detail.
Forget cocaine, nicotine and caffeine – testosterone is the drug to which most men are addicted. And unlike other drugs, we have a constantly renewing supply of this potent stimulant with us at all times.
When God (of your own understanding) created us, our primitive brains were hardwired to go forth and multiply. Monogamy is not in our nature. Simply put, we have been pre-programmed to fuck as many women as possible.
However, in the real world, despite our deep-rooted desire to do so, this is not always possible – particularly for those of us that have elected for the road of being in a committed monogamous relationship, which is why porn is such a powerful stimulant and fills the void left by not being able to realize these carnal desires. It might not be as good as the real thing, but the theatre and illusion that is porn goes a long way to help meeting that enormous global demand fueled by the pent-up frustration of not able to do what comes naturally when we want, and with whom we want.
CNN might claim that America is addicted to porn, but it misses the point; The U.S., and indeed the world, is addicted to doing what we were created to do: the desire to procreate is firmly embedded on our hard drives, with no delete option available.
Were porn to be outlawed outright, you can be rest assured that these powerful instincts would manifest themselves in ways that would be far more harmful to the society that it is allegedly corrupting.
Governments may try, but the underlying global architecture of the Internet makes it very difficult to censor in its entirety. You all have access to a global audience, and given that non-English language hosts now out-number English ones, steadfastly sticking to English during the sales-pitch is robbing you of potential income.
But given the sheer choice of adult material out there on the web, surfers are often reluctant to “commit” to a contractual relationship. After all, if he pays for sex in the real world, he is not obliged to visit the same prostitute the next time he feels these urges, so why should he in the virtual one?
This is part of the reason our phone billing is proving to be so popular with surfers. A simple phone call is all it takes to get “satisfaction.” No awkward forms, no digital trial, just quick, convenient and anonymous instant gratification for the surfer, with no commitments. Combine this with a call-to-action in the surfer’s native language, and you have a global website and instant new revenue steam thanks to a payment device that the entire world has – a phone.
Since the yield-per-password sold is less than that of a monthly subscription, you simply give them less time. If you have compelling content, there is a good chance that the surfer will come back and pay you again this way the next time he needs his fix – probably since you gave him the option not to commit in the first place.
Pitching a $29.90 monthly credit card subscription to the majority of the world who do not have one is an exercise in futility – which is why you can now direct traffic from countries such as Brazil, Russia, India and China to a geo-IP version of your site for you and your affiliates to promote separately to help meet that constant global demand.
Going global will ensure that you have the edge in an increasingly competitive market. The need for sex, be it for real or virtual, remains a basic human instinct which transcends all races and religions and, like hunger, is truly universal.
About The Author
Marc Jarrett password-by-phone.com
2007 marks the 50th anniversary of one of the most consequential rulings in U.S. history: the Supreme Court’s 1957 decision in the case Roth vs. U.S.
A major turning point for American obscenity law, the Roth ruling (a 6-3 decision) made it more difficult for prosecutors to get obscenity convictions — and it is safe to say that without the Roth decision, the U.S. probably would not have become the world’s biggest erotica-producing country.
Samuel Roth, a New York City-based publisher/writer battled American obscenity laws starting in the late 1920s (when he was jailed for obscenity for publishing an unauthorized version of James Joyce’s “Ulysses.” Roth also faced intellectual property concerns (Joyce obtained an injunction against Roth forbidding unauthorized use of his work), but obscenity law was his biggest challenge. After serving time in prison from 1936-1939 for obscenity, Roth was arrested again in 1955 for sending obscene material through the mail. Roth’s case went to the U.S. Supreme Court in 1957, which was also the year the High Court reviewed another major obscenity case: Alberts vs. California, the companion case of Roth vs. U.S.
The Los Angeles-based David Alberts, who operated a mail-order business and published pictures of nude and scantily clad women, was convicted of obscenity under California law. When Alberts appealed that conviction and his case went to the U.S. Supreme Court, he was represented by the groundbreaking 1st Amendment attorney Stanley Fleishman (whose firm, which is now Weston, Garrou, DeWitt & Walters, went on to represent numerous clients in the adult entertainment industry). Fleishman did not represent Samuel Roth or argue Roth, but legal scholars have often pointed out that Fleishman’s work in the Alberts case greatly influenced the outcome of Roth — an outcome that, although not ideal, was definitely a major step forward for adult entertainment.
Profound Role
“Stanley Fleishman’s role in the Roth decision was profound,” veteran 1st Amendment attorney Clyde DeWitt, who is part of Weston Garrou, said. “Stanley briefed and argued Alberts vs. California, which, of course, was 50 percent of Roth. Stanley was a pioneer.”
In both Alberts vs. California and Roth, the U.S. Supreme Court examined the constitutionality of obscenity prosecution; Fleishman saw Alberts’ conviction as an unconstitutional violation of the 1st Amendment. There was both good and bad news for adult entertainment in the Roth and Alberts rulings. The bad news was that in both cases, the Supreme Court under the late Chief Justice Earl Warren ruled that obscenity was not constitutionally protected speech. The convictions of Alberts and Roth were upheld by the Warren Court, and Roth went back to prison for several years. But the good news was that with the Roth decision, the Warren Court established a new definition of obscenity that wasn’t nearly as prosecutor-friendly as the old 19th century Hicklin test that Roth vs. U.S. officially did away with.
In 1957, the Warren Court ruled that material was obscene if its “dominant theme, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest” according to the “average person, applying contemporary community standards,” and the “dominant theme, taken as a whole” part of the Roth test was a crucial departure from the Hicklin test that had been established with the Regina vs. Hicklin ruling of 1868.
Regina vs. Hicklin was actually a British case, but it influenced American obscenity law for 89 years. In Regina vs. Hicklin, the British courts defined obscenity as material that tends to “deprave or corrupt” the most susceptible members of society.
Under the Hicklin test, even a small, isolated, mildly erotic part of an artistic work could make the entire work obscene — and in the U.S., an outspoken supporter of that test was moral crusader/activist Anthony Comstock, who called for much tougher obscenity prosecution when he persuaded Congress to pass the so-called Comstock Law (which led to at least 3,000 arrests) in 1873. Thanks to Comstock, the Hicklin test was used to ban everything from pamphlets promoting birth control to Geoffrey Chaucer’s “The Canterbury Tales.”
A long list of attorneys, judges and 1st Amendment activists spoke out against the Hicklin standard and “Comstockery” (Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw’s term for zealous censorship based on alleged obscenity or immorality) in the late 19th century and during the first half of the 20th century, but it wasn’t until the Roth decision that the U.S.’s highest judicial entity officially abolished the Hicklin standard in the U.S. once and for all. And for prosecutors in obscenity cases, having to evaluate an entire book, magazine or film under the Roth test was much more challenging than evaluating an isolated passage under the Hicklin test.
“The whole Regina vs. Hicklin concept rested on a premise that has turned out to be flawed,” L.A.-based 1st Amendment attorney Allan B. Gelbard said. “There is no proof that exposure to adult materials harms anybody in any way, and even if there are some people who might be harmed by it, that doesn’t mean you make it illegal for everybody else.
“You can’t make all of society safe for the sandbox. If something is inappropriate for a 6- year-old child, that doesn’t mean that you can prevent a 30-year-old adult from having it. You can’t prevent a 30-year-old adult from having something because it might fall into the hands of a child. If we based everything that adults can have access to on what is appropriate for a 6-year-old, adults would never have a gun or a car.”
Decision’s Impact
While civil Libertarians believe that the Roth decision ultimately did more good than harm, hardcore social conservatives flat-out detest the decision. First Amendment attorney Gregory Piccionelli, who has spent much of his career battling modern-day Comstockery, said, “Roe vs. Wade and Roth v. U.S. are the Religious Right’s most hated cases.”
Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum has indicated that he would like to see a return to a Hicklin-like standard, and Eagle Forum founder Phyllis Schlafly has complained that “the flood of pornography started with the Warren Court.”
Adult entertainment did, in fact, become increasingly plentiful during what DeWitt and others call the Roth/Memoirs Era — that is, 1957-1973. The Memoirs part is Memoirs vs. Massachusetts, a case the Supreme Court decided in 1966. The Warren Court’s Memoirs decision essentially upheld the Roth decision and noted that obscenity was “utterly without redeeming social value.” DeWitt pointed out that during the Roth/Memoirs Era, “the country evolved from a very subdued Playboy to ‘Deep Throat.’”
The Roth/Memoirs Era ended when, in 1973, the Supreme Court under the late Chief Justice Warren Burger (Earl Warren’s replacement) examined the landmark Miller vs. California case. The Burger Court’s ruling in Miller vs. California established a new three-prong test for obscenity that maintained some parts of the Roth test but replaced the “utterly without redeeming social value” element with what is known as the “SLAPS test.”
According to the Supreme Court’s Miller test (which remains 34 years later), a creative work is obscene if it: 1) appeals to a prurient interest when contemporary community standards are applied, 2) is patently offensive, and 3) lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value when taken as a whole (the so-called SLAPS test).
If a prosecutor cannot prove to a jury that erotic material meets all three of those criteria for obscenity, the jury must provide a “not guilty” verdict. In 1973, DeWitt recalled, some adult entrepreneurs feared that the SLAPS part of the Miller test would make it easier for prosecutors to send them to jail. But as it turned out, adult entertainment became more plentiful and more explicit; it was during the 1970s that the adult film market truly exploded.
“[Miller] flat-out said that Congress could regulate morality, and that’s just wrong,” DeWitt said. “But Miller has not proven to be the train wreck that everyone thought it would be. After all, look where we have all gone since then. Let’s face it, you can get every kind of erotic media everywhere now, except retail stores, which are fewer and far between.”
DeWitt added that the Roth decision not only had an impact on adult entertainment — it had an impact on mainstream entertainment as well.
Clients “in the Trenches”
“My clients in adult entertainment are in the trenches,” DeWitt said, “and it is the battles that they fight that pave the way for the lyrics in rock ‘n’ roll and rap. I mean, how could anyone even think about prosecuting some store for music with raunchy lyrics when the same store sells DVDs with DP gang-bang scenes?”
Where U.S. obscenity law will go in the future remains to be seen. While 1st Amendment purists hope to see obscenity prosecution abolished altogether in the U.S., Christian Right fundamentalists long for a return to a pre-Roth decision test for obscenity — and if the Supreme Court did replace the Miller test with a Hicklin-like test, it would be disastrous for American adult companies (many of which would no doubt relocate to Continental Europe if they were facing that type of nightmare). But Piccionelli doesn’t see the U.S. taking such a giant step backward.
“It is insanity for Rick Santorum to believe that the country would tolerate a return to a 19th century standard for obscenity,” Piccionelli said, also noting that vanilla erotica has become harder and harder to prosecute in the Internet era.
Ideally, Piccionelli added, he would like to see the U.S. government quit wasting taxpayers’ dollars prosecuting consensual adult erotica and worry about terrorism and child pornography instead. And Gelbard also said that he would like to see obscenity prosecution abolished in the U.S. on constitutional grounds. But until that happens, Gelbard warned, adult-oriented entrepreneurs will need to be on guard.
“The whole concept of obscenity law is flawed,” Gelbard said. “The whole idea that some speech is so sexually explicit that it somehow loses its protection as speech is ridiculous. The other areas of speech that are restricted are based on real harm. As everybody has heard, you can’t yell fire in a crowded theater, but that isn’t because the word fire is offensive; that’s because the word fire might cause a stampede and cause people to get killed.
“When the government restricts speech, there is supposed to be a really, really good reason — what we call a compelling interest — and there is supposed to be no greater restriction than necessary to effectuate that. If somebody is offended by sexually explicit speech, that’s good and fine; you restrict it by saying that it shall not be forced upon them, but you don’t make it illegal ab initio. That’s just stupid.
“And the other part of it is that obscenity is the only area of the law where you don’t know if you are breaking the law. If you walk into a bank with a gun and say, ‘Give me all your money,’ there is no question that you are breaking the law by robbing a bank. But if I make an adult movie today and three years from today, some prosecutor decides to prosecute me for obscenity, how was I supposed to know it was illegal when I thought it was perfectly artistic?”
Author Alex Henderson
The so-called “G-Shot” procedure is the latest in a long line of medical or pharmacological interventions in sexual pleasure or functioning. Yes, it is the latest Big Thing in the sex world to debunk.
A Los Angeles plastic surgeon has come up with a new enhancement strategy that he’s teaching to other docs. This procedure involves a collagen injection into a woman’s anterior vaginal wall to purportedly emphasize sexual sensation from her G-spot.
Remember penis enlargement surgery, that staple of Internet spam? Remember last year’s gizmo, stumbled upon by a chiropractor that purported to cause orgasm in women by the careful positioning of electrodes? Remember “Lady Viagra,” the so-far-elusive pill that would get gals revved up as fast as their men, or ensure fabulous orgasms, or maybe even take care of the dishes and the lawn work so partners could book in a little more time for canoodling?
Think too of the last Big Thing the plastic surgeons unveiled for us women: labia work, so no woman has to wonder whether her pink bits look so different from Jenna Jameson’s that a fellow wouldn’t recognize them for what they are. Oh, and there’s also vaginal tightening, that’s apparently not just for postpartum moms any more.
To be sure, there are some women and men who suffer from true sexual dysfunction, who need and could really use pharmaceutical or other medical help.
But most people with sexual issues do not fall into this category. Most people who are unhappy with their sex lives have partners with whom they are incompatible in some way, or they (and their partners) suffer from insufficient or incorrect information about sexual arousal, pleasure and functioning.
Plus, Americans harbor the “Fix it, Doctor” belief that a visit to the physician can and will cure what ails them, even if “what ails ‘em” is not, in fact, an ailment at all.
The real problem with innovations like the “G-Shot” is not that they might not work, though news coverage like the SF Chronicle’s recent article about the procedure devoted scant ink to that possibility.
The real problem is that these Next Big Sex Things obscure the role of good, old-fashioned sexual and anatomical knowledge and the ability of partners to communicate about what they like, what they want, and what works best to arouse and satisfy. They also obscure the fact that different people may best be pleased by different things. That’s because, simply, everyone is not alike.
But then, why would a plastic surgeon devote any time at all to explaining this? There’s no money in that for him, as there assuredly is for doing the “G-Shot” and the next procedure and the next.
Just as most MDs don’t take the time to look up from writing a prescription for Viagra to say “Oh, by the way, if you simply cut out fatty foods and nicotine, cut down on alcohol, and walk twenty minutes every day, you probably wouldn’t need this stuff.”
If most of the new breed of “G-Shot” docs won’t take the time to tell their female patients the basic information needed to succeed at sex, who will?
Ever hear of sex educators? Where do you find them in America? Well, you find them on the sales floor at your local Good Vibrations store. Or, you find them teaching classes at the Center for Sex & Culture. Or, you find them doing individual consultations as members of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality or the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
Anyone dissatisfied enough with her or his sex life to consider a visit to a plastic surgeon might want to take some time to learn how sexual pleasure really works before allowing someone who hasn’t been trained as a sex specialist to point needles or scalpels at their tender bits.
The “Two I’s”: Information and Intercourse
Fads like the “G-Shot” come along because of the “Two I’s.” One is “Information” or the lack of it. The other is “Intercourse” and the accompanying notion that this is or should be everyone’s primary source of sexual satisfaction.
Take a look at these “Two I’s.” Look at them one at a time.
Information: It used to be that young people at the dawn of their adult sexual lives got at least a little information from sex ed. classes at school. But these days, the focus is on abstinence.
So, young people - who are eager to partner, fall in love, get married, or just get busy - go out into the world with truly alarming gaps in their sexual knowledge.
The idea that sex is “natural” still has great sway - except, maybe, what one hears referred to as the “unnatural” kinds - so people do not need to be taught how to do it. This is barely correct, and even people who have figured out how to make babies via Tab A and Slot B do not necessarily have the elements of pleasure worked out.
Women and their partners who are attracted to the quick fix idea of the “G-Shot” and its accompanying placebo effect, often don’t have the necessary “how to” knowledge to have good and satisfying sex. After that placebo effect of the latest exciting new procedure wears off, they will still not have it. These women and their partners are often ones who may have heard of the G-spot but don’t know where or what it is. They haven’t given the clitoris the study it is due either, and they don’t understand the elements of arousal, especially female arousal.
The “G-Shot” purports to make the G-spot more sensitive or easy to stimulate, but the technique hasn’t been tested for either current efficacy or long-term effects.
Think about that. Have you ever seen with your own eyes the handiwork of the penis enlargement surgeons’ art? It can wind up looking like the pig-in-a-blanket they used to serve in the school lunch room, or if not that, then lumpy like a potato.
Furthermore, many women don’t even like direct G-spot stimulation. Many cannot tolerate the sensation that results until they are fully aroused, but the “G-Shot” does not guarantee full arousal.
If the idea is to help women catch up with male rates of arousal, then why focus on something that is not an erogenous area for all women, and that requires the same amount of attention to arousal as any other penetrative sex?
When orgasm expert Dr. Betty Dodson accuses G-spot mania of being just another way to focus on vaginal orgasms, she’s absolutely right. The sensations of G-spot stimulation (for a woman with a sensitive one) can be exquisite, but the real craze is for a trick that will make women more satisfied with intercourse.
The irony of this belief, though, is that many intercourse positions don’t optimally stimulate the G-spot at all - plenty of women don’t discover their own G-spot sensitivity until they get a curved toy, plus some lube, and go hunting, or they meet a partner who knows how to curve his or her fingers.
Intercourse: It’s practically the definition of “having sex” in America, and it is the lens through which many, many couples view their sexual satisfaction.
All the curved fingers and toys in the world don’t count as much as the “real thing,” even though study after study shows us that the majority of women do not reliably orgasm from penile-vaginal intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation.
“Many of these women try so hard to have an orgasm from intercourse alone,” says OB/GYN physician Debra Shapiro, MD, “because their husbands are not giving the clitoris any attention and the women themselves don’t know that they can stimulate their own clitoris while having intercourse. I tell them they can do this and they’re amazed: ‘I can?’ They have no idea it’s okay.” Or, in fact, that it is a common practice.
Many women just have no reliable access to good, realistic information about how sex is conducted. What’s more, they have not had the good fortune to find out what many in sex positive communities know: There are lots of other things besides intercourse that make up, and indeed may be crucial to, a good sex life.
About The Author
The adult Internet is about to get a lot more crowded. While it’s been filling up for quite some time, a new influx of pornmongers is ramping up that may turn into a stampede. I’m not referring to consumer-made “pornographers” or traditional newbies, i.e. imports previously unassociated with the biz. I’m talking old school guys, authentic porn-studio honchos who actually know how to make shit, don’t break out in hives in the presence of a flesh-and-blood porn star, and actually have some idea of what quality hardcore erotic entertainment is really all about.
The fact is, if you live within 50 miles of the San Fernando Valley, you regularly hear the studios’ plaintive wail on the wispiest of breezes: “We’re scared as hell, and we’re not going to take it anymore!” The “it” of course is faltering DVD sales, which can no longer be brushed off as temporary, seasonal or the result of anything other than a profoundly and irrevocably changing marketplace.
For those who have been watching with vested interest the transition from a producer/distributor market to a consumer-driven market, the acceptance of this fact by experienced content producers both adult and mainstream has seemed as slow as molasses. Predictably, these producers have demonstrated all the characteristics of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief:
Denial (this isn’t happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
Depression (I don’t care anymore)
Acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes)
Now, they are about to add another more proactive response to the list: Revenge. Complete, total, fucking retribution. They have finally embraced their inner Beales and are now mad as hell. Rather than fold up shop and slink back into whatever tar pit they originally crawled out from, many have begun to embrace the Internet with a single-minded focus that could prove very effective.
But there is another very big difference about what is happening now. This new what-might-be-called-a-trend is not about finding another revenue source on the Internet or handing lines off to a VOD provider who takes a cool 70 percent off the top. This is a sea change. This is about old school guys ceasing brick-and-mortar DVD distribution altogether and moving their content onto the web as their main business model. It’s happening now, and when you speak with these guys you sense a lifting of tension and a commensurate optimism that only comes when someone has made a difficult decision.
So, how will these “newcomers” do in the tough world of affiliate marketing? It ain’t brain surgery, after all. True, there are few elements to online commerce that one does not encounter in brick-and-mortar, but make no mistake; the reverse is also true, as many Internet-based content producers are finding out.
Some will fail, but many will not. They will partner up with solid affiliate programs, hire third-party companies to run their programs, or bring experienced affiliate managers in-house. All three pose potential problems, which is why I think many will opt for the last option. They may go through one or two people, but in the end those who are determined to create a lasting impression on the web will succeed no longer how long it takes.
The stakes are raising once again, my friends. A new round of branding wars is about to begin, and though I’m not smart enough to know who will come out on top, I don’t think we can assume any company’s dominance at this early juncture.
The Author By Tom Hymes
LOS ANGELES — The 2nd Annual Fans of Adult Media and Entertainment Awards were presented Saturday night as part of the weekend-long Erotica LA consumer show, held at the LA Convention Center.
Created in 2006 by Genesis Magazine, Adam & Eve, WantedList.com and AVN.com, the F.A.M.E. Awards allows fans to interact online, first choosing finalists in 14 categories, and then picking the winners. This year fans cast more than 100,000 online votes, more than doubling the amount for the 2006 F.A.M.E. Awards.
Hosted by mega starlet Tera Patrick and male performer Evan Stone, the event gave fans attending the show a chance to watch as a roster of A-list adult stars strutted on the red carpet and received honors in “Favorite” categories.
ominated for Favorite Male Star, on top of his hosting duties, Stone joked that allowing fans to vote online had prevented him from stuffing the ballots.
“I didn’t have to suck any cock for this award, though,” Stone said jokingly. “So, we’ll see what happens.”
Stone made his red carpet appearance dressed as a buccaneer; the first of several costume changes throughout the evening. At one point, he appeared onstage dressed in a tiger suit, whipping his tail lasciviously.
Stone hammed it up for the audience, helping to give the program a fun, light-hearted atmosphere.
On the red carpet, Wicked contract star Stormy Daniels was nominated in multiple categories including Favorite Female Performer. The winner in that category was slated to win a Tiffany pearl necklace valued at $5,000, awarded by show co-sponsor and webcam content provider IMLive.com.
Daniels, wearing her diamond Wicked necklace, claimed she has no pearls in her jewelry collection.
“So, if I win, it’ll be my first pearl necklace,” Daniels said. “Well, not exactly my first pearl necklace.”
Adult celebrities, including rock ‘n’ roll mainstreamer Dave Navarro, were seated in a fenced-off area in front of the “Sensual Stage.” Nearby, a table was set up so fans could purchase souvenir T-shirts and disposable cameras at discounted prices, in the hopes of having the T-shirts autographed by performers or capturing some special moments on film.
The event was stream-lined and simple, and went off without a hitch.
In addition to short acceptance speeches, the audience was entertained by a comedy video clip featuring male performer Tommy Gunn and several starlets. Set to the theme music from “Chariots of Fire,” Gunn delivered a deadpan appeal for “SupportYourPornstars.com,” a charity to prevent performers from not being in porn.
Quickly paced, the program took a little less than an hour to present the 14 flame-shaped, clear acrylic trophies.
Gonzo power couple Jenna Haze and Jules Jordan were the night’s big winners; Haze bringing home the Favorite Oral Starlet trophy and Jordan winning for Favorite Director for the second year in a row, as well as this year’s Favorite Gonzo Movie for “Jenna Haze Dark Side.”
LOS ANGELES — PerezHilton.com, a blog recognized the world around for its celebrity gossip and catty comments, was pulled offline by its Internet service provider after several photo agencies complained about copyrighted photos regularly posted on the site.
The blog’s operator, Mario Lavandeira, retaliated by reposting his site using another ISP, citing the fair use doctrine as reason to be allowed to remain live and online.
“PerezHilton.com stands by its commitment to protect the freedom of people to transform content on the Internet for the purpose of commentary and satire and unquestionably believes that it comports with the fair use exception,” Bryan J. Freedman, Lavandeira’s lawyer, said in a CNN.com report.
Because Lavandeira alters the photos on his site — usually by carefully placing white smudges and scribbled writing near the subjects’ faces — he believes he is altering the copyrighted photos in a way that does not infringe the law.
As of this article being published on the Netpond Blog the Blog in question is once again back up. Though on a different host.
Now that is only a small part of the current threads at the Netpond Board. Be sure you come by and check everything out. You will always find some very good information at the Netpond Board and if you like you can start your own threads or ask questions in the current ones.
Well fellow webmasters and mistresses, it is time to play “Let’s Tell The
Truth”!
How many of you will admit that whilst sitting at this computer for hours
on end you have put on an extra 10 lbs?
No one? Well I sure have!
How about your household chores? How have yours fared?
Perfectly kept house eh?
I am here to tell you that is not mine.
I have forgotten to feed the cat for literally 2 days, that is until she
climbed up on my keyboard and refused to move.
I have left the same clothes in the dryer for 3 days straight. That was
some seriously wrinkled stuff, let me tell you!
I have missed garbage day twice in a row. That is not a pretty thing
anywhere at any time, but especially not in Texas in the summer.
Who else is living on food they can scrounge up easy and fast from the
fridge while they work on that “perfect new site” and catch up on those
tgp submissions and then put up that extra free site?
At the end of the day who’s eyes are so heavy they can’t see the screen
and they are not really sure if they did eat or drink, or if they did,
what it was?
That would be me, yes.
Has anyone else reached for that soda or that coffee on the table next to
you only to find they had put it there this morning and it is now
afternoon and hot, or stone cold?
No? Good lord! You people are so organized and disciplined.
There must be some humor in wrinkled clothing, smelly garbage and a cat
who won’t leave your keyboard, I just can’t find it.
That of course brings me to the very real social and health issues here.
Yes, we do have our duty to our sites and our ambitions to become “real”
webmasters, but we also have a duty to our home our health and if
appropriate our families.
Things in my case were in a dire state, my jeans were a tinsy bit (ok, a
lot) too snug. My cat was ignoring me, the dog did not know me and
growled at me, and the neighbors thought me agoraphobic.
My sister who lives in the other half of this duplex separated only by a
door, was refusing to speak to me because for 3 days in a row I had
missed the dinners she so carefully prepared.
She also says I would not answer the phone.
I deny this because I know I never heard it ring!
I was busy on another set of sites!
Actually this epiphany came right about the time I wiggled, squirmed,
held my breath, and wedged myself into my favorite jeans that fit me 3
weeks ago.
Ok, I said to myself. Listen up Self. A new day has come.
Those blog posts must wait. That free site can build itself. Those tgps
will still be here later. I am on a mission of self improvement!
I wiggled out of those jeans (nearly as hard a task as getting in them
was).
I slid on a pair of sweats, and took a look in the mirror and gasped. I
had even forgotten my best friend Lady Clairol!
I shuddered and looked away from the mirror before I the image did me
irreparable damage.
The first order of the day was to return my hair to it’s gorgeous and unnatural color!
A half hour later I was out of the bathroom and feeling much better. My
hair was properly clairoled and gleaming with those special highlights
nature did not bestow upon me.
I cast a longing look at my desk but did not give into temptation!
That very day I cleaned my house from top to bottom.
I reintroduced myself to the dog and cat, both of whom were still highly
suspicious of me.
I went for a very long walk and watched the neighbors peering out from
their windows wondering if I was over my agoraphobia and could imagine
them asking each other if maybe I was on meds.
I made friends with the sun again.
I made nice to my sister and she more or less started talking to me
again.
I set my house in order and felt much much better for it.
Yes, there were many times I was tempted to sit down and write “just one”
blog post or build just one gallery but I held firm in my resolve.
I stayed away from my computer the entire day.
Come on guys I must be honest here, I was miserable. Plain old miserable
down dog unhappy.
I went to bed still feeling properly righteous, though a lot like an
addict in withdrawal.
My cat was snuggled beside me and my dog at the foot of the bed happily
playing with my toes. My house was sparkling clean, my hair it’s proper
color, but I was still miserable.
The next morning I got up and made coffee, and sat down at my computer to
make up for all the work I had missed the day before.
It was midnight before I realized that I had not eaten. Something was
burning, and in the oven where I had put in a frozen pizza at some point
in the day instead of pizza there was a blackened lump. The house smelled like burned cow pies.
All was back to normal.
Now to be entirely serious. It was not all that bad, or maybe it was.
However, what I have done since then is to try and set aside an hour in
the day to walk my dog, and play with my cat.
I also find out if I have lost any laundry in the dryer and dust my floors before the bunnies take over my house.
An hour in the evening I try and dedicate to my sister. She is a kind
soul and does not understand my addiction to my profession.
How successful have I been?
Well, my jeans fit right again.
The dog has not growled at me today, and the cat sits on my lap not the
keyboard.
However, I just opened up an email from my sister next door and it says:
“Hello, How have you been? I miss you.”
It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets.
